Growing up, I remember a recurring theme to my nightmares. No matter who was chasing me, and I was always being chased, I could get away. How? I’d just flap my arms and fly away. And if, by any chance they could fly, I could always fly higher and faster. I don’t remember how old I was when they started or when they stopped, but I remember them vividly. I think I was in 5th or 6th grade when they started. I also don’t remember any specifics about who was chasing me but I do think it was mostly other kids. Adults in my dreams came years later.
Later in life different dreams took charge. These were more like nightmares, much more so than my earlier dreams. And they were recurrent…
In the first recurring dream, I was going about mydaily life and I’d suddenly go blind. Terrified, I’d wake up and realize it was all a dream no matter how realistic it had felt. And it did feel realistic. This caused me a lot of panic when it was time to get my cataract surgeries done. Fortunately I had an excellent doctor with a great staff and I made it through just fine.
The other recurrent dream/nightmare happened more frequently. In it, I was driving a car, a truck, a bus, but never a vehicle I actually owned. Sometimes I was alone, other times, there was other people with me. I’d be driving uphill and my acceleration would stop and my brakes would fail. Or I’d be driving downhill and they would fail. Forwards or backwards, I’d be sliding faster and faster down the hill, heading towards disaster. Nothing worked and just before a bad ending, I’d wake up in a cold sweat.
I stopped having recurrent dreams at some point and it was years later when I finally realized all these were all about control. Or more accurately, about things being out of control. My control. It’s been years since the last of these dreams. I surmise that’s because I no longer feel out of control.
Now, that’s not to say I don’t dream because I do. Wild, vivid, and totally unrealistic fantastical, funny dreams. I sometimes remember bits and pieces, even for hours afterwards, but most fade quickly allowing no time for examination.
Do you remember your dreams? Do you have more good dreams than nightmares?
